I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
