Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
Randomize
