I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
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