Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Randomize
