I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
Randomize
