I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
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