whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
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I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
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