just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
Randomize
