bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
She went from zero to smokin in five shots
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
I want to be your penis for a week.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
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