He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
