dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
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