Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
Randomize
