Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
Randomize