NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
Randomize
