my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
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