Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
Randomize
