Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
I fill condoms, not promises.
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
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