You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
Randomize
