He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
My bed smells like the plague
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
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