When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
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