I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
