This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
Randomize
