this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
I see more hoeing in ur future
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
Randomize
