return my video game
Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
Randomize
