This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
Randomize
