All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
Just saw a girl leaving CVS on her bike with a case of beer. She tried to ride one handed with the case under her other arm and fell over off the sidewalk. I'm glad to see someone else's life is a bigger joke than mine.
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
Randomize