dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
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