its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
Randomize
