I'm jealous of your bromance
Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
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