is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
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