writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
Randomize
