I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
Randomize
