we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
Randomize
