How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
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