this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
We just shotgunned beers for America
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
Randomize
