So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
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