Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
splinters make it hard to masturbate
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
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