there was a trapeze. enough said
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
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I will miss his soup and his dick the most
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This baby is an asshole
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
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