he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
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