is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
Randomize