so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
Randomize
