oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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