no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
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