I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
I checked into jail on foursquare
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
