so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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