i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
Hello my rib-scented angel!
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
Randomize
