those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
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