I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
