Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
The bartender told me the best pick-up line was to look deep into her eyes and tell her your gonna flick her vagina
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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