Yo dont text me then not text me
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
They are going to name an STD after you.
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
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