Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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