is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
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