Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
Randomize
