Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
