1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
What happened to fro yo and sex?
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
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