Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
Randomize
