I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
Randomize
