P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
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