A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
Randomize
